Instilled in the foundation of American democracy, it is clearly written that “all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of iron distance speed…”

For many of us, I don't think it took us very long into our Ironman careers to discover that we all weren't created equal. Below is a short test to help you assess if the official “A Ticket To Kona” website is meant for you:

Question #1 - On the first 10k that you ever ran did you;

1. Feel disappointed that you couldn't hold 6:00 minute per mile pace, or;
2. Choke on your own vomit as you crossed the finish line in over an hour

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #2 - On you first Ironman did you;

1. Qualify for Kona and take home hardware, or;
2. Make over a dozen porta-potty stops during the marathon.

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #3 – During an Ironman, have you ever;

1. Run so fast that your family and friends didn't get to the finish line in time to see your finish, or;
2. Tried to run some mathematical calculations because you were concerned about not making the official 17 hour cut-off?

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #4 – How much effort does it take for you to get to race weight for an Ironman race?”

1. Would you respond with, “Oh, I can't seem to ever put on weight no matter how much pizza and chips I consume…”, or;
2. Would you respond with, “I once took a chance and ate 3 extra leaves of spinach for dinner and gained 3.2 pounds as a result.”

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #5 – How much do you think about Ironman?

1. I occasionally think about Ironman when I am doing a long bike workout, or;
2. I think about Ironman when I wake up, when I am driving to work, all day during work, driving home from work, while watching my kids play soccer, while kissing my spouse goodnight, when I dream, and also when I am going to the bathroom.

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #6 – How would you complete the following phrase…”I started doing Ironman because…”

1. I had nothing to do after making Olympic Trials in swimming, or;
2. I had to do something other than sitting in a cubicle for the next 20 years of my life…

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #7 – How would you respond to the question, “How much emphasis do you put on triathlon gear?”

1. Not much, I qualified for Kona on a Big Wheel that I purchased at a garage sale, or;
2. If it's not the gear, then what is the purpose of Ironman???

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #8 – How would you respond to the question, “Who would you rather be, Gordo or The Dalai Lama?”

1. Would you respond with, “Who is Gordo?”, or;
2. Would you respond with, “That is a trick question. They are the same person,”

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #9 – Which of the following is more apt to make you very very cranky;

1. Sitting down in front of the television only to realize that the sitcom you are about to watch is a repeat, or;
2. Missing a workout because your boss and co-workers thought that it was a good idea to have another meeting at the end of the work day.

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.

Question #10 – When people ask to see pictures of your family, do the pictures;

1. Contain a splendid shot of the entire family in perfect poses and smiles in front of a nice tree beside a lake with everybody wearing matching sweaters, or;
2. Contain an awesome shot of the entire family hugging you after an Ironman while you are wearing your race gear and finishers medal around your neck.

If you answered ‘2' welcome to the website.